Ranter's Corner

FACEBOOK BIRTH PICS DOING MORE HARM THAN GOOD

Every time I login to facebook, I seem to be greeted by yet another smiling new mum gripping her baby, having just given birth.

Considering becoming a mum myself, I now have yet another point to add to my list of ‘giving birth’ fears: The apparently uncontrollable desire to prove that you can procreate, by showing the world how you look make-up free, in an NHS bed, wearing an M & S nighty (and more than likely, paper pants underneath). Either that or everyone else knows something that I don’t; if the mother hasn’t shown herself within 24 hours of giving birth, she must be dead.

I never know quite how to respond to these photos. It just doesn’t seem that I’ll add anything with: ‘Nice nightly!’, ‘Yey – you’ve had a baby!’ or ‘You look so relieved that’s over!’

The other mums seem to have it down to a tee, with comments such as: ‘You make this whole creating life thing look like a piece of piss!’, ‘What baby flab? You mad mad woman.’, ‘I’m guessing the stylist and make up artist are just out of shot?’

I’ve noticed that a lot of post birth pictures tend to mysteriously disappear from facebook, once hormones have settled down. (It’s often around this time that the father feels the need to replace his own profile image with one of his baby. It’s like he’s trying to get in on the act, slightly late in the day: Women give life, men give their facebook profile picture.)

Joking aside, I wonder whether we’re in danger of making giving birth look too easy. Are women becoming their own worst enemy? Is this feminism for the millennium? Three kids and a job? Easy. Three kids, all natural births while I continued working from my hospital bed on my laptop? No problem.

Our teenage pregnancy rate is rising and the NHS is now considering not offering the increasingly shunned epidural to all. I for one will not be happy, if I’m left screaming in unnecessary pain due to myths that have been perpetuated, with the help of facebook.

In the meantime, I’m off to set up my own website; it’s like YouTube but for birth videos – www.gashtastic.com ;)
Posted 05:22 PM on Wed Mar 04 2009
By Wedding Belle
2915 views, 5 Comments
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    Red Hot Mamma at 05:41 PM on Tue Mar 17 2009 | flag     

    There are loads of old folk whose children live miles away or in different countries and never visit them. Sorry if it sounds sentimental but I think it's best to have a child just because you love the person you're having it with and want to make a person out of that love. Then give your children unconditional love. I know it's relatively easy for me to say this as I have the best children in the world (no contest), but I would never expect them to look after me - it's because of me they landed up in the world after all.

    Let's Cyber at 02:12 PM on Sun Mar 08 2009 | flag     

    A BMW is a great car but it won't visit you in hospital when you're alone, old and grey. A career is fulfilling but it won't make you the centre of its universe and tell you it loves you everyday like a small child would. Smug marrieds with naughty kids; are smug because they have discovered the secret of eternal life. You live your life once then you do it all over again through your kids. However, I don't have any children so who am I to comment.

    Wedding Belle at 01:27 PM on Sun Mar 08 2009 | flag     

    Hmmm - care to elaborate on why it's worth it 'Lets Cyber'?

    Let's Cyber at 08:59 PM on Fri Mar 06 2009 | flag     

    Having children is like heroin addiction. It makes you feel secure like naked entwined lovers but ultimately it is harmful to your personal life and career prospects. Yet it is most definitely worth it.

    Barbie at 10:25 AM on Fri Mar 06 2009 | flag     

    LOL

    It’s the after birth messages that do it for me:

    ‘Sheena is glowing after a gas and air birth with no stitches required.’

    Personally, my planned message is:

    ‘Little Jemima slid out in a boat made of petals as Carol serenely crocheted a pair of tiny pink booties.’

    Whereas the stark reality, is likely to be:

    ‘Carol is now unconscious after seriously crapping herself, and her vaginal stitches have become infected.’