Disappointments of 2008

GOK WAN MANIA

Strange that someone so into women, only sleeps with men.

Never mind, Gok confesses love and they strip off, for 5 seconds that is, in a shopping centre, strategically placing their hands over their dodgy bits.

‘Sorry love, you’re clearly not commercially beautiful, and you talk too much to be Miss Naked Beauty, although you’ve certainly proved you’re gullible enough by turning up to this ridiculous audition. NEXT!’?

‘Psst. Before you go, here’s a big piece of cheese to sellotape to your Tesco Finest taffeta dress, they’ll think its designer.’ Wink, wink.

BRITNEY SPEARS’ ‘COME BACK’




Lose the robot and bring back Britney!

We weren’t just looking for proof she wasn’t dead: A bit of singing and dancing and at least a few sentences of semi-authentic conversation not too much to ask, surely?



THE NEW ‘NATION’S SWEETHEART’





















Eh, what exactly has Cheryl done to deserve such an honour? Just scrape into a reality TV band? Stand by her cheating footballer husband? Cry on X Factor? Get her teeth straightened? Oh that’s right, I forgot, she punched someone in a club toilet a few years ago.

COLLEAGUES’ BURLESQUE SHOWS
Gok probably loves Burlesque, or pretends to anyway. I can hear him now: ‘It’s great; any woman can do it, you just need confidence. I have tassels. Let’s find a shopping centre!’

If you have the body; strip, if you have the moves; dance, if you don’t have either ask your work mates along to a Burlesque evening starring you and your new found chums. They’ll come, once at least, out of morbid curiosity.

Posted 08:15 PM on Thu Dec 11 2008

By Barbie

7298 views, 1 Comments