Personality - optional

A guide to socially approved alternatives to developing a personality.

We’re not worthy

While inside all of us lies a huge ego looking for people to ‘save’ and in turn think we’re great, unfortunately there are only so many charitable jobs around. And, whilst we’d all love to travel the world as a volunteer on an all expenses paid holiday or radiate selfless beauty as we ladel up soup to the homeless at Christmas, have you seen the waiting lists? Plan ahead if you want others to look at you with awe after they innocently ask you that universally dreaded question ‘What do you do?’

The facebook face

It has to be a symmetrical face with just the right expression to convey youthful happiness ideally combined with a propensity to laugh at everything no matter how unfunny. The more variety of ‘I’m having such an amazing time’ expressions you can pull off the more popular you will be, even strangers will want to be photographed having a gay old time with you.

Perceived exoticness

Having heritage from two or more countries, the further away from each other the better. It will be assumed that you are more interesting than you actually are. You don’t even have to have actually lived in either country as the more details you give the less exotic you will become.

Having a good story

Ideally you’ve been banged up abroad but to have been a human shield will do it. Anything that makes others feel more interesting by association. To gain mass popularity go for a serious injury, or worse.

Posted 05:57 AM on Wed Jan 26 2011

By Barbie

676 views, 1 Comments