Celebrating women

You’re Worth It!

“I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.” – Lucile Ball

It’s been said that most people fear public speaking more than death. I always found that a little strange but it’s starting to make sense. That’s because it’s also been said the number one fear we all have is the fear of rejection. We’re afraid the world will somehow look down on us as inadequate.

That fear drives us to all sorts of negative behaviour. It forces us to acquire things we don’t need simply to prove to others we’re worth more than they may think. But filling ourselves up from the outside will never work. It has to come from within. That’s the message in The Everything Self-Esteem Book. It’s about treating yourself well, learning to be comfortable on your own, and living your life.

Treat yourself well.

“Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.” – Jane Wagner

There are many ways to look after yourself. Personally, I take a holistic approach by focusing on body, mind, heart, and soul. It’s about ignoring things that don’t matter and focusing on things that do. It’s about good food, good books, and filling my life with things that make me happy.

Ultimately, only you can know what it is you should be doing. But whatever you choose, make time for it on a regular basis. Learn to find joy in the little things. Don’t wait for others to treat you well and don’t wait for “special occasions” either. Why not have them everyday?

Be comfortable on your own.

“We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The people we spend our time with have a tremendous impact on our lives. Like I write about in Work in Progress, they tend to make us more like they already are. Whiney people create more whiney people. Interesting people create more interesting people. That’s why it’s important to spend time with the right people and not the wrong ones.

Before we can actually connect with the right people, we need to learn to connect with ourselves. That means learning to be comfortable on our own. It’s really hard to go against the flow especially when so much emphasis is placed on relationships. But this really is an important first step. It’s like Confucius said: “Do not accept as friend anyone who is not as good as you.”

Learn to be independent by taking time off to be alone. I often go to the movies on weekend afternoons as a way to escape from all the noise. Yes, it’s uncomfortable at first, but eventually you adjust as you become more comfortable in your own space. Knowing you can make it on your own prevents you from desperately clinging to people who will only bring you harm.

Live your life.

“A slovenly dress betokens a careless mind.” – Don Quixote

You’ve got to understand you deserve good things in life. Take pride in what you wear and how you look, not to impress others but to feel good about you. Walk tall like you deserve to be noticed. Speak with confidence like you deserve to be listened to. And smile like you have a reason to, probably because you do!

You also need to understand that good things include healthy relationships and the chance to be who you’re meant to be. Life can be tough so make sure the person by your side is one you can trust and respect. It has to be you.

Posted 05:06 PM on Fri Jun 25 2010
By varsityblah
967 views, 4 Comments
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    Freak at 03:34 PM on Sat Nov 06 2010 | flag     

    I'm not sure thinking that anyone else 'is not as good as you' is the way to go. Accepting others for who they are and appreciating our differences is the way to inner contentment and true self respect.

    Alexis at 11:45 AM on Sat Nov 06 2010 | flag      | Follow Me On Twitter

    Unfortunately, telling yourself that you deserve to be noticed and have good things in life doesn't mean it's necessarily so.

    Fortunately, rejecting people who are not as good as you is still likely to leave you with a wide choice of friends - always assuming you're not a megalomaniac.

    Freak at 02:24 PM on Mon Jun 28 2010 | flag     

    I think you are missing the point Gloria. Who cares what the media presents as the 'norm'? To quote from this article 'It’s about ignoring things that don’t matter and focusing on things that do.'

    I think this article is spot on. We need to look inside ourselves for the answers and not rely on doctors to tell us how healthy we are, institutions to tell us how clever we are and magazines and tv to tell us how we should act and what we should look like. It never ceases to amaze me how many seemingly intelligent people live their lives like this.

    The key is learning to let go.

    Gloria at 03:56 PM on Sat Jun 26 2010 | flag     

    Very motivating but how do you deal with negative images of women the media present as the norm?