Nightmare woman = woman with a guitar

We’ve all been there: Sitting chilling in someone’s garden or at a campsite, and generally having a good time, until you hear that fatal click followed by the dreaded screech of a wooden guitar being picked up. You mood sinks as, without any discussion, the guitar’s often badly dressed and apparently not quite as shy as they initially seemed, owner deems him/herself and a guitar to be not just the replacement background noise to everyone’s evening but in fact the new centre of attention as they murder Extreme’s ‘More Than Words’, ‘Wild Thing’ and anything else with a basic rhythm and that they can remember the chorus for – who cares that they make Jedward look like Michael Jackson?

Well, I do, and I say enough is enough. I’m just back from my honeymoon in Fiji where my first Bula ceremony was ruined by a spontaneous one man concert which took over proceedings. Planned to perfection, as if he’d been waiting for the point when we were all too Bula-ed to move, this self styled ‘Mr Perfect’ decided we should all spend our relaxed state watching and listening to him serenade his ‘Ms Perfect’ with classics such as ‘Lady in Red’ (yes, she was indeed wearing a red dress) and ‘You Look Wonderful Tonight’ (he even changed ‘blonde hair’ to ‘brown’; I almost puked). I was probably already irked with the Perfects as she’d just won the limbo contest that I’d got knocked out in the first round of but, still, seriously, how is one man/woman with a guitar ever a good thing in a group situation?

For those interested; this is the article that this image is really about.

Posted 06:55 PM on Mon Mar 01 2010

By Wedding Belle

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