BEAT THE BITCH - TESS STIMSON NO MATCH FOR THIS MORNING'S DENISE

Daily Mail journalist, Tess Stimson, had an affair with a guy, won him, then lost him; her qualifications for writing the book ‘Beat the Bitch’ that’s currently doing the media rounds. Tess gives advice to women on how to keep a man by, among other things, having sex whenever he wants. And if you fail to measure up to the task, fear not: Her book also offers tips on how to win him back after the inevitable affair begins by inviting ‘the bitch’ over and giving your husband ‘flirty looks’ over the dinner table and also ‘rearranging his diary’. Hmmm – relationship advice from an insane divorcee anyone? (OK, she has since remarried.)

Thankfully, I had no need to shout at the TV this morning as Denise Roberston was right in there:

‘If men are, in your own words; ‘poor mindless ninnies’ then why would you want to keep one?’

Denis’s bemused face said it all as she further questioned why a woman should‘stop using her brain and become a cross between a Geisha and a Stepford wife?’

Tess’s only repeated come back, that said far more about her than her potential readers, was that ‘we’ compromise in all our other relationships, why not with our partner?

Even Phillip Schofield couldn’t resist a wee stir as he pointed out that the bloke seemed to be getting a pretty good deal.

And then the production team put their oar in as a very late screen label appeared over the seemingly disillusioned Tess:

‘TESS STIMSON – BELIEVES YOU SHOULD ALWAYS PANDER TO YOUR MAN’

The bitch; or the witch, as Phillip renamed her for TV purposes, seemed to have been truly overcome, and it was left to Denise to sum up:

‘The book is such a good read that at the end you’ll feel damn glad your life is not like that. You’ll be euphoric.’

Posted 11:34 PM on Thu Jun 18 2009

By Wedding Belle

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