Cock Fighting

I found a strange wildlife video on youtube. It reminds me of going to work on public transport; the dating game is in full swing, like the documentary clip. Get on a bus, obey the rules and it starts.

Finding a seat on Bus
First find a seat:
1. Lower deck first, any free seats; women tend to avoid the top deck.
2. Give the seats near the door a miss unless you want to be humiliated by being told to move by a granny wielding a zimmer frame.
3. Not the side ways seat at the back as you always end up siting next to a fat woman who requires the three seats all to herself.
4. No seats downstairs then try upstairs.
5. Don’t sit next to someone if there is a free seat, otherwise they’ll think you’re a stalker or madman.
6. Don’t sit next to attractive women, when other closer seats are available, as they’ll think that you’re a sex pest.
7. Don’t sit next to people with bags on seats as asking them to move them often leads to conflict.
8. Don’t sit next to school kids as they frequently talk loudly about poo, farts and snogging and often start singing out loud for no particular reason.
9. The front seat upstairs are good as you can pretend you’re driving the bus.
10. Look out for girls with A to Zs as they’er easy to chat-up, ” Do you know which stop you want?”. “That’s near my flat. I drive past there on my way to EMI records where I work.” And so on.

This video also reminds me of going to a public toilet
I used to fear the public nudity of school changing rooms, especially after swimming, when little percy shrivelled up and almost disappeared completely.

While women gossip in toilet cubicles, men take part in pissing contests at open urinals.

For men everything is a competition:
My god is better than your god
My car is faster than your car
My wallet is fatter than your wallet
I’ve had more head than you have, and of course
My cock is bigger than yours

Are we really so different from the animal kingdom?

Relaxing on the Tube – slouched with legs apart
If women had dicks and balls they would sit on the tube with their legs spread. It’s anatomy not rudeness. Also, I bet they’d love guns of any type, scratch their balls and, wince while holding their crotches; when they saw other women being kicked in the goolies.

Men can have breasts too
My chest is getting flabbier. I’m develping boobs (moobs). Don’t know whether to be pleased as I’ve always been very interested in boobs. All are wonderful whatever size; from mouthfuls through to handfuls to gigantic. The downside to moobs is that it means I’m becoming a lardy arse.

If only I understood women
In the dog house eating humble pie again:
My partner said don’t bother with card or present for Valentines, so I didn’t
Bought chocs when my partner was on a diet
Said, ‘me too’ once too often on the phone when my partner said, ‘I love you’
Compared my partner to my ex. What was I thinking?
Got mesmerised by a barmaid’s cleavage in the pub
Mentioned a female work colleague’s name more than three times to my partner, in a week.
Forgot to make a cup of tea for my partner when making one for myself
Said, ‘yes your bum does look big in that’ only to be told that that wasn’t the question

In the end in a dog eat dog world, its about cock fighting as the video shows

Flatworms: Thankfully for humans, courtship doesn’t involve figuring out which partner is male and female. Not so for the hermaphroditic flatworm, who settle their similarities with penis jousting contests. The winner gets to be the man in the relationship.

I don’t take drugs but I’m still addicted to the adjacent sex.

Posted 10:50 PM on Sat Feb 14 2009

By FishDinner

2103 views, 1 Comments