Fatties on Facebook

Checked my old school, Great Barr Comprehensive, on Facebook,1981 leavers.

I was expecting a bell-shaped distribution of body shape, a few thin, the majority in the middle and a few fat.

There were about 80 profiles pictures, all were fat.

Why were they all fat?

Am I a part of a cursed generation that will die before their parents?

Is this what freedom is for?

Labour promises a bigger state, the Tories more freedom and the Liberals more fairness.

Which party is the best to beat the obesity epidemic?

As a nation we are faced with many challenges.

However, politicians because of their hidden agendas and obsession with dogma tend to cloud the issues as they fight for votes.

People are fat for three reasons. The first is environment. People’s weight tends to reflect those around them. Fat mothers have fat children. Fat brothers tend to have fat sisters.

Secondly social status. Poorer people eat lower quality food. Poor kids have to survive on cheap crisps and sweets. Two pieces of chicken and chips eaten during the school lunch break is their only meal of the day.

Thirdly market forces. It’s easier to make money selling sugar coated donuts rather than raw fish. Fatty, sugary, high calorie food is more profitable than healthy food. So this is what is advertised. So this is what sells.

What would the Labour party do? Ban glucose-fructose and trans fat in food; regulate advertising of unhealthy food and pay the TV companies to show educational adverts.

The Liberals would introduce a fat tax based on both weight and income. They would redesign tax returns to include a box for your height and weight. From this they would calculate your Body Mass Index (BMI). Your tax rate would then be dependent on how far your BMI was from the ideal and your income. There would be new government jobs for Fat Inspectors whose job it would be to make surprise visits to work places and homes with scales to check that people have not being lying on their tax returns. No fat cats would be permitted.

The Conservative party would replace the National Heath Service with National Health Insurance. How much you paid would be dependent on how healthy you were. Fat people would have to pay more. Individuals would be free to choose to be fat or thin.

If I were fat and did not want to pay for being fat. I would vote Labour.

If I wanted to be fair then I would vote Liberal.

However, if I felt that my weight was my business and I wanted to keep the government as far away as possible then I would vote Tory.

My Father is Labour. I have only ever voted Labour. However, I am sick of politicians, I just want to be left alone to save myself. So I am voting Conservative.

Obviously this is a satirical article. Please refer to Tory, Labour and Liberal manifestos for their actual policies.

Or maybe obesity is not an issue.

Posted 08:52 AM on Wed Apr 21 2010

By Single Minded

1364 views, 1 comments

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